


Friend or Foe

by icherishpotatoes



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Azgeda, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Guerrilla Warfare, Heavy Angst, Hostage Situations, Injury Recovery, Kidnapping, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rebel Army, Smut, Tags may change as story progresses, Undercover, Violence, character injury, doctor!clarke, spy!lexa, stockholm syndrome but not really?, undercover!Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 00:57:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7780747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icherishpotatoes/pseuds/icherishpotatoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin gets kidnapped in one of her doctors without borders visits to South America. A ransom is demanded in return for her safety by a rebel army known as Azgeda. Lexa Woods is an undercover agent in the rebel army whose job just got a lot worse. </p><p>Or</p><p>Lexa spent a year infiltrating Azgeda and gaining their trust only for her mission status to change: Protect Senator Abigail Griffin's daughter Clarke Griffin while maintaining your cover.. Rescue mission pending upon failed negotiations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lexa was accustomed to making hard decisions for the job. Often enough, innocent people got caught in the crossfire.  _Sometimes, you have to concede a battle to win a war._ Otherwise, she wouldn't still be alive. She was surrounded by the enemy. They shared meals together, humored each other and eventually she became one of them. The only way not to let a sense of panic creep up on her in the midst of an enemy camp was to fully immerse herself in the role. But even then every fiber of her being ached for revenge- for the innocents they slaughtered in front of her and for the ones she'd surrendered their fate to death and torture. 

The mission started off with her gathering Intel but a few weeks of remaining unnoticed soon turned into months of building herself an unwelcome reputation. _Heda.._  They'd call her. She wasn't the one in charge here, not by a long shot. A year in the game and she was given more leeway to voicing her opinion on the area of operations and the fate of the hostages. Perhaps her ruthlessness was starting to pay off and the rebels granted her a measure of respect for it.. whatever passed as respect in a place like this. Her mission was not the hostages, she couldn't do anything to help them but bring them small comforts every now and then. She was there to observe, report and indirectly cause unrest between the rebel clans. If and when the time came for her to assume a bigger position in Azgeda.. she would be able to cause a series of events that destroyed the pillar on which this place stood upon. It seemed highly unlikely that would happen. The Azgeda generals were already wary of her and she did not want to challenge them. That would ruin the purpose of her mission. Her popularity however did grant her a token of appreciation when the generals appointed three fighters for her to commandeer during missions. When she was given the option to choose from the low-level scum that would follow her lead.. she picked the most violent ones if only to have a tighter leash on them. It also helped with her generals thinking she'd picked them for their violent inclination.

* * *

 

Lexa was taking a nap during the day when she heard a commotion in the nearby tents. "Let me go, you bastard!" She spoke English, Lexa realized. She got up and began making her way to the new hostage the rebels seemed to have captured. 

"Get your filthy hands off me! Do you have any idea who I'am?!" Being important was never a good sign. She thought she detected a hint of an American accent.

She saw a blonde on the ground scurrying away from a rebel. Another man forcefully yanked her to her feet before attempting to bind her wrists when she stomped his foot. He howled in pain and Lexa tried to school the smile making its way to her lips. Her smile was short-lived because the next second the blonde was backhanded across the face and brought to the ground by the brunt force of it. Lexa mentally chided the woman's foolishness. She was close enough to intervene now and when the defiant woman tried to stand again, Lexa pulled her so that her back was to her chest. Her arm held her neck in a strong grip while the other came around her midriff holding her arms in the process.

"Let me go!" Clarke tried to wriggle free from the hold but the person behind her wouldn't budge.  

"Calm down and I will." Her voice was scratchy and muffled against the blonde's hair.

Clarke tried to control herself in her panicked reverie. She stopped and went slack in the grip the soldier had on her.

After a few seconds of pondering whether the blonde would continue her reckless behavior, Lexa decided to let go.

Clarke looked behind her to see the savage that held her and her eyes went wide at taking in the figure in front of her. "You're a woman."

The rebels around her began laughing but the scathing look Lexa sent their way made them stop abruptly. Clarke became uneasy all the more. The woman wore military attire just like all the other men and had a gun tucked in her waistband. Lexa took in the wide blue-eyed woman and began to wonder how she ended up here. It was rare to capture anyone that wasn't a local in these grounds.

 _"Chon dison bilaik?"_ _Who's this?_ Lexa asked.

 _"Ai don hon raun heda." I found her nearby commander._ The rebel shrugged.

Lexa took Clarke by her arm and began dragging her to a tent.

"Let go of me. You can't do this!"

The blonde had no qualms about attracting attention to herself. "You barbarians! You can't take someone against their will. I'm with the U.N.. You won't get away with it!"

Lexa suddenly whirled the woman around to face her while still maintaining her grip. There was a laceration to her forehead and her lip was bleeding.

"Do you want to make things worse for yourself?" The brunette's voice was scolding.

Lexa had seen this all too often. The new hostages would exhibit restraint, not fully understanding the predicament of their situation or the people they had been taken hostage by. But this woman was even more uncooperative than the others and Lexa thought about the fate in store for her. Clarke's lips began quivering, she looked around her at the audience that was gathering. There were people that were dressed in rags and were surrounded by men with guns. The seriousness of the situation began to dawn on Clarke. Lexa saw the gears turning in her head and decided to continue dragging her to the tent to avoid further misfortunes. The less attention the hostages brought to themselves the better. It was always the loud ones that suffered the most here. Her grip on the woman must have slackened because the next thing she knew she was elbowed roughly, making her double over in pain. Clarke began to make a run for it but Lexa recovered quickly and tackled her to the ground. Clarke yelped as they both hit the hard ground beneath them.

"Look around you." Lexa hissed, breath labored from the sudden tumble. "There's no where to go. There are barbed wires everywhere and guards at every post. What did you hope to accomplish?"

"I won't go quietly if that's what you think." 

"That's not very smart." Lexa proceeded to drag her up push her through the flap of the tent.

She shoved Clarke into a worn out mattress positioned in the middle of the makeshift. When she first began dealing with the hostages, she realized that treating them in a civil nature more often than not caused them to cling to their stubbornness.. which put them in even more danger. It didn't stop Lexa from grabbing the gauze and alcohol to treat Clarke's wounds though. She was by no means heartless. She was also not a healer but her first aid training was the next best thing in a place like this. It also gave her an advantage over the other goons walking around with their 12 gauge shotguns and RPGs.

The blonde hissed at the contact. "You're obviously not a doctor."

"Shut up and stay still." Her tone was less menacing than what she could've gone for. Lexa dabbed more gently. She was pleased to see that none of her injuries needed any stitches. Clarke never really got a good look at the woman before and now with her so close, she couldn't help but notice that her eyes were a pool of green. She had a firm jaw and sharp angular cheekbones. She was too pretty to be in a place like this or so she thought.. Terror doesn't stop on a pretty face. A rough clink of metal around her wrist brought her back from her musings. She was cuffed to the wooden post holding the tent up. "Hey- Please. What do you want with me?!"  _That.. they were about to figure out._  Lexa contemplated grimly.

 

* * *

  
Clarke sat in the poorly set up tent and began to take in her surroundings. The mattress was stiff and beyond ruined. Her jeans were ripped at the knee cap and she couldn't quiet remember when that had happened. The simple white shirt she was wearing had black smudges ridden all over it. Her mind still felt fuzzy from the events that had transpired during her ride to the refugee camp. She remembered gun fire, tires screeching, a man approaching her and knocking her out with the butt of his rifle. She didn't even know where she was or how much time passed. She wondered what happened to those that were with her.. the man driving and the other friendly doctor she'd met. Her eyes began brimming with tears. _This can't be happening to me._

"You fuckers! Let me go!" She began tugging at her restraints, paying no mind to the scratches they were forming at her wrists. She stopped herself before it got any worse but continued protesting her situation.

* * *

   
Lexa and some of the rebel soldiers gathered for a meal. Apparently, Clarke wasn't just caught roaming around in these parts of town. She was specifically targeted because of who her mother was, a wealthy senator of the United States. Clarke was a doctor taking part in a humanitarian intervention with the U.N but the guerrilla group didn't care about that. They wanted to exchange her for a few bucks. Knowing how long Azgeda liked to drag out hostage situations for more money, Clarke was bound to spend some time here. Her general told her not to give her any food for the day and to leave her shackled to the wooden post. Clarke wasn't making it any easier, she was mouthing off curse words and when one of the combatants was aggravated enough to stand up and make his way to the tent.. Lexa laughed it off, told him to ignore the crazy woman and that she'd deal with it herself. She always dealt with the new ones. She instilled a sense of fear into them.. it was harsh but it was better than what the others would do if they got a chance.

Lexa moved the flap of fabric aside to make her way inside the dim makeshift tent. She sat on a wooden stool at the opposite side of the blonde.

"About time someone heard me."

Lexa kept quiet and revealed a knife she tucked in her boot and began toying with the sharp end of it. She quirked her brow at Clarke's remark and the woman gulped.

"Is that some sort of intimidation tactic? Spare me the performance. You don't scare me." Usually, the people Lexa did this to would start to break down almost immediately. She hadn't preceded this reaction. _Fuck._

"You don't seem like you scare easily, Clarke." She could see that using her name is what did the trick. "Do you know why you're here.. daughter of Abigail Griffin?" Clarke bristled.

"Is- Is that- why? You want to get to my mother?" Her voice was weak and she could see that Clarke was close to cracking. Lexa felt sick but it was the best course of action. Break them before the rebels lost their patience and did it themselves.

"We wouldn't want your time here to be ill-fated.."

"You can't kill me otherwise you wouldn't get what you want." Clarke said, timidly.

"There are things that would make you wish you were dead. I suggest you consider this your first and final warning."

Clarke was so high strung the entire day that she didn't notice she was holding it in. She needed to use the toilet. Badly.

Lexa gave a final twirl of her combat knife and tucked it back in her boot. She got up to leave but stopped when the blonde spoke. "Wait- I need to pee. Or is that pushing the limits of my stay too far?"

"Don't think of trying anything funny." Lexa fetched the keys of the cuffs from the left pocket of her cargo pants. Clarke made sure to notice but what she didn't predict was the irritated stare Lexa gave her when she saw the injuries the cuffs caused. 

"Stop trying to get out of these, it's virtually impossible." Lexa grabbed her arm and steadied her on her feet- they felt numb from sitting down the entire day. Once outside, Clarke tried to take in the size of the compound. It was heavily guarded and the lights were spotting the surrounding area.  _So much for trying to escape._

_"Having trouble with this one, Heda?"_

_"I've got her covered."_ She gave the guard her most confident smirk and winked.

Clarke had never heard someone talk that way before and she considered herself to be proficient in learning the basic language skills for whatever place she visited. She didn't know anything about these people or what their intentions were. Did they want to make political demands to the U.S? That would be useless. She wasn't that important. Did they want to send a terror message by killing her? Clarke hoped to god that wasn't the case. Besides, treating her minor wounds would have been in vain if they just wanted her dead anyway. They probably wanted money- it was the most probable cause. If that was the reason then she'd be out of here in no time and on her way back to civilization.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics between quotations are spoken in trigedasleng.

Clarke was exhausted. Mentally and physically. Her sleep was restless; she had nightmares and woken up to find that she was living in one. Her temple hurt and her wrist was aching from the uncomfortable way it twisted during her sleep. That morning another man undid her shackles only to tie her wrists together again. His hair was dirty and braided.. but it was nothing like the brunette Clarke had the misfortune of meeting. She didn’t know her name but she caught onto people calling her Heda. Whatever it meant.. she’d never heard it before. The rebel roughly dragged her to another tent where the chief and another man were waiting.

“Look if it's money you want then you can have it. There’s no need for all this. I won’t even go to the police.” They laughed at Clarke's desperate attempts. She was pushed into the middle of the tent facing a camera positioned on a tripod.

The rebel forced her on her knees and gave her the day’s newspaper to clutch with her bound wrists. He took the photo while Clarke kept her face devoid of expression. The rebel showed the picture to the chief and he scrunched his nose distastefully. 

“You don’t look scared enough.” The man who assumed the position of power said. Lexa entered the tent and took in the scene. She didn’t realize they had taken the prisoner out of her tent and were already planning to negotiate her release.

“Lexa.” The chief regarded upon her entrance. _So that was her name._

“Show our uncooperative hostage what happens when they refuse to comply.” Lexa grimaced inwardly, she didn’t know Clarke was here and she tended to avoid these situations entirely. They expected her to hit the woman and Lexa hated laying a hand on the prisoners as it was. Instead, she undid the gun from her holster and fired to the spot right beside Clarke earning a high-pitched scream from her. She then pointed it straight at her and that’s when they took the photo. The generals gathered and began laughing at the pure appearance of horror on the blonde’s face.

 _"Good to know I can count on you to surprise us, heda.”_   The chief rarely called her commander as to not undermine his own status _but and when_ he did.. Lexa knew what she did was particularly sickening. Tears were rolling down the woman’s face as she avoided staring at anyone in the room.

 _"Let her eat something. We wouldn’t want to accidentally kill our chance at a fat ransom.”_   The chief laughed jarringly. Lexa wanted to be the one to see the shock on his face when she dumped Pike in a prison cell but for now she would have to keep up with her role. She masked her fury with an uneasy laugh.

 _"You can always count on me.”_ Just like a good soldier.. she left that part unsaid. Clarke was now looking at her with an unfathomable expression as the generals shuffled out of the room. She stood in front of the blonde and righted her to her feet.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“Despite what you might think, I took no pleasure in doing that. I warned you about your insolence.”

Clarke’s nostrils flared. “Spare me your chivalry.. You’re nothing but savages.” Her words were filled with venom. Then Clarke did something neither of them expected.. She spat at the brunette’s face. She anticipated Lexa to backhand her or punish her for this fit of anger but all she did was stare at her- an expression of shock morphing her features.

 _I probably deserved that._ Lexa wiped her face with her sleeve. She invaded Clarke's personal space and gave the blonde her most deadly glare. "Make sure this is the last time you disrespect me."

She stared down Clarke for a minute and as calmly as she could muster she took her outside. They didn’t talk about it as Lexa cut the binds on the blonde’s wrist and muttered for her to eat something. Clarke looked around and saw several men and women seated on worn out benches. They were dressed in ragged clothes that looked like they were once something you would wear to a fancy dinner. Clarke’s stomach grumbled. She was starving but didn’t have any desire to eat. She felt too weak as it was but to get out of this place she needed to conserve her energy. So she made her way to the line that was serving food. When it was her turn.. she was presented with one option. The woman serving dumped a gooey substance into a bowl and shoved it into her general direction.

“What on earth-?”

“Don’t complain, just eat.” The man behind her said. He had messy hair and an unkempt beard.

“I’m Murphy.”

“Clarke.”

“Haven’t seen you here before.” They made their way to sit on the wooden bench.

“Arrived yesterday morning.” She said, feigning cheerfulness.

“Ah..” He looked at her pitifully.

“How long have you been here, Murphy?”

“Six months give or take. I don’t count anymore.”

Clarke shuddered to think someone could be so resigned to accept this as their fate.

“What do they want with you? Can’t someone get you out of here?” Clarke asked.

“These people are something else. They have no honor and their word is as good as pig shit.” Clarke began panicking at the prospect of her captors taking the ransom and keeping her here anyway.

“Piece of advice.. Clarke. Don’t challenge them. It’ll only make things worse and this is coming from a place of experience.” Murphy subtly pointed at each of the guards and gave Clarke a background on their behavior.

“That guy over with the scar on his lip.. Cage they call him. I suggest you avoid him at all costs. He’s one of the commanders’ boys and that’s not even the bad part. He fucks with people for no reason, definitely a sadistic bastard.” Clarke makes sure not to stare too long.

“This other guy- don’t look- You’ll probably notice him later. He's bald and has a broken tooth. The bastard gets too handsy with the prisoners but the commander doesn’t let that sort of stuff happen around here.”

“Who’s the commander?” Clarke’s brows furrowed.

“The woman with braids.” He pointed to the direction of Lexa who was leaning against a post and taking in her surroundings. She met Clarke’s eyes and held her gaze until Clarke broke away first.

“She’s a commander?”

“Not literally, just a name she earned. Heda. To be honest with you, she’s not all that threatening.. keeps to herself mostly. Lots of rumors about her being ruthless in the field. Haven’t witnessed anything with my own eyes though.” Clarke decided to keep the tid bit of information about getting away with spiting on Lexa to herself. She could say she regretted her actions especially when Lexa looked like she was on the brink of losing control. But it also brought her a measure of satisfaction.

“So heda means commander then? What language are they speaking in?”

“All I know that it isn’t an official language. They’re the only ones that communicate with it.” Clarke wondered what type of rebel army needed their own language. If so then they were much more dangerous than she'd expected.

* * *

 

Once Lexa made sure that no one was paying attention to her, she slipped through the woods to search for the satellite phone she’d buried. She ducked behind a tree and made a call to her handler. The phone picked up directly.

“It’s been a while since you checked in with us.”

“Things have been busy. Same old adage, clans are still clashing with one another but their drug supplies seem to have slowed.”

"All thanks to you."

"Yeah but now they're desperate for cash and you know desperation breeds more capacity for violence."

“Very well aware. Listen, I have a status update on your mission. First, I need to know if Clarke Griffin is in your camp.”

“She’s here.” Lexa sighed, expecting something like this.

“You need to keep her alive. Go along with your mission as you usually would but consider the senator’s daughter safety while you’re at it.”

“This senator must be pretty important.”

“She has ties to the president.” Anya explained.

“The generals here seem pretty stoked for a check from her mother so I don’t expect they’d lose their patience with her easily. She's already proven to be difficult and they’ve killed for much less.”

“Noted. And Lexa? Whatever happens.. don’t blow your cover.”

* * *

   
_Don't blow your cover AND ensure the safety of the senator's daughter? Nice one._

Lexa leaned against the bark of the tree for a few moments. The job was beginning to get to her and the line between tormentor and someone who was just pretending began to blur. She rubbed her temple as a way to dissipate the growing headache. She brought her knees to her chest and rested her head against them. Brick by brick, she felt her determination falter. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She never made any noise when she cried and the only indication was the trembling of her shoulders. _Get yourself together._ She re-accounted the events of the day. She was accustomed to the people she’d helped looking at her with disdain but for some reason when the blonde was involved, it bothered Lexa all the more. She was too stunned when Clarke spat on her. She thought that maybe she should’ve reacted with more force. She hoped she hadn't given her the idea that it was okay to act this way towards the other guerrilla soldiers, there’s no knowing what they might have done in her place. But she also didn’t want to cause her more pain. Clarke was stubborn in nature and she could only do so little to subdue her. It was no doubt a mechanism for self-preservation.

In a way, it made sense why Clarke was behaving like this. She was confident no one could hurt her. Her mother was apparently an important senator with ties to the president. That had to make her feel invincible even in a place like this. Or maybe it was just shock. She huffed and got on her feet and wiped away any sign of tears on her face. She took another moment to harden her resolve before facing the guerrillas _and Clarke_ again.

* * *

 

She got back to find two soldiers fighting among themselves. A few guards gathered around them while the others surrounded the outpost, encouraging them from afar. _Fucking idiots._ Lexa always felt a sense of satisfaction when they began landing the heavy punches. She couldn’t do it herself so she resigned herself to watching them beat the crap out of each other. They got encouraging cheers from the other rebels and Lexa pitched in as well.

Everyone was offering trinkets and prizes for the winner so Lexa thought it fit to do the same. _“Last man standing gets my knife.”_ It seemed to stir them all the more. Finally a man fell after the sound of bone connecting with his jaw. The other man looked like he was about to collapse as well. Lexa got the knife that was rumored to have slit a hundred throats and handed it to the man who could barely stand. A hundred was an exaggeration but its implication was true. Lexa was no stranger to death. Clarke watched the encounter from her place on bench. She saw a fair amount of blood during her life, she was a doctor after all. But witnessing red mare their faces in brutality made her feel ill. If the guards did this to each other then there’s no saying what they’d do with the prisoners. Then she saw Lexa, giving an encouragement of her own and handing over the knife to the man who had won the fight. The same knife she twirled casually when she visited her last night. The man accepted it proudly, raising it over his head and roaring barbarically. Lexa seemed to fit in but at the same time she didn’t. There were a few other guerrilla women fighters among the rebels but they seemed much harsher than Lexa.. they had scars marring their features and they seemed more enthusiastic about the fight. She even saw a few bullying the prisoners at the tables.

 _“Show’s over.”_ The chief announced. While he also watched and encouraged them.. he reprimanded them for their actions and issued punishments. Fuck if that made any sense. They both got night shifts to stand guard; the one who lost had more night shifts to cover than the victor of the fight. Then he told them to scram like pests. This man obviously saw the same thing Lexa did- that being the witless thugs they were fostering. Pike just relished in the knowledge that they obeyed him- brainless or not. He wasn't the one leading Azgeda; he was just in control of this camp- a part of the endless string of terror that defiled the earth. So she'd say he was one of those witless thugs too.


	3. Chapter 3

“Is this organization linked to the U.S government?”

“Yes and no. They're private espionage contractors. They do some work for the U.S.. but we don't have any jurisdiction over them."

"And my daughter's life lies in their hands?" Abby brought the cigarette to her lips and inhaled deeply.

"I'm sorry." Marcus tentatively took the cigarette away from her shaking fingers and put it out.

"Clarke would want you to be strong for her. She's going to pull through this."

Abby tried to push the image of a frightened and alone Clarke away from her mind but it kept coming back to her. The first call she got was from the U.N where they notified her of her missing daughter. The next was the email she received with her picture and the money they demanded. Her assistant got a hold of it first and it was a blur from there. She had a meeting with the intelligence committee and they told her about the obstacles involved in a rescue mission. Her best bet was to exchange the money for her daughter in person. That was were the private contractors came in since the U.S cannot be seen negotiating with terrorists.

"Clarke is tougher than you give her credit for. She'll make it. They have their most equipped ma-woman on the job."

* * *

 "Fuck." Lexa hissed. She was about to trip over the clutter of wires set up in the communication room. She was glad the place was empty or she would have thoroughly ruined the person stationed there. The coms room was a new set up the rebels acquired. It allowed them to communicate with each other in between outposts and throughout other nearly camps. It certainly sped their operations up so Lexa began thinking of a formidable plan to destroying it. She didn't know if she would make it out of here guns blazing or in her own time and pace. So if push came to shove and she had to bail, the entire area could be alerted to her escape. They caught an undercover agent once and it wasn't pretty. She definitely did not want a repeat of that.

To the guy's defense, Lexa didn't even know he was on her side so he couldn't have been a bad spy.. just a very unlucky one. Gustus tried to trick the previous chief into believing one of his generals betrayed him and it didn't turn out so well. His plan was risky to begin with and his judgement was at a low point but Lexa felt bad for him anyway.

The stress of the job clouded your mind sometimes. The usual glances here and there would make the toughest of them retreat into a shell of anxiety. But if you were too sure of yourself then your ego could be your downfall. Never underestimate the enemy. Plans don't last very long in espionage and it was better to adapt than try to change the world around you. There was no shortcut to an infiltration. You had to be willing to do whatever it took to fit in.. till it left nothing to distinguish you from them. So when Lexa looked into the hollow eyes of her enemies she saw a reflection of herself. She wondered if they saw themselves in her too. 

* * *

 

Lexa couldn’t keep up with the Chief’s reasoning on why he wanted to move the prisoners and half their forces to another camp.. _orders from the chain up,_ he'd said. There was a high contingency of overcrowding but she didn't reveal her concerns. She told the other rebels to begin rounding up the hostages while she went to collect Clarke herself. Strangely enough, Clarke didn’t protest when she told her to get in the back seat of the four wheel drive. She jumped in beside her while she waited for the others to wrap it up. She thought that maybe Clarke understood that silence was an asset but it was too good to be true.

“I came here to help innocent children.. how do you feel like knowing you people robbed even one of them of a chance at life? How do feel like knowing because one less doctor was available they’re now orphans?”

Lexa groaned. She was practically immune to this. Besides, she wasn’t the one who kidnapped Clarke so maybe she should stop referring to her in the plural form of things. Even if it looked like she did kidnap her from the outside. _I’m undercover god damn it!_   Why did she have to keep reminding herself of that? Maybe Clarke’s words rang true in a way and that’s why it bothered her so much. She did things she wasn’t proud of.

“Listen here blondie.”

Clarke scoffed.

“I would appreciate it if you kept your inner-monologues to yourself. I’m trying to meditate.”

Clarke had no pretense of stopping. “That ransom you demanded in exchange for my life? It could help hundreds of people build homes and sustain them for years. Instead, you use it buy weapons and drugs and what for? What’s your end game?” Lexa didn’t look like the kind of person who did drugs. But compared to the other stuff.. drugs were just a stepping stone. There was a haunted, urgent look in her eyes and her leg was bouncing up and down involuntarily.

Lexa was impressed by Clarke’s social conscience but this was getting annoying. She could feel the beginnings of another headache forming.

“If you don’t shut up I’m going to make you.”

That seemed to do it.

Clarke went quiet. She began to wonder what drove a person like Lexa to a place like this. Was she a teenage run-away? Was her father part of this rebel force? Did she seek them out on her own?

“How did you end up here?”

Lexa quirked her brow at the question and laughed lightly. She was mildly annoyed that Clarke didn't take her threat to heart.  

“A lot of good decisions made consecutively.” she said, unsure if she was talking about her spy career or if she was being sarcastic. She ought to retire.

“So what? You’ve self-actualized?”

 _The realization or fulfillment of one’s talents and potentials?_   “Uh.. I hope not. I mean.. I hope I still have more to offer.”

Clarke paled. It suddenly dawned on Lexa that they were leading entirely two different conversations.

“I meant that in a non criminal way, Clarke.”

“Oh so there is hope in there somewhere.”

“I wouldn’t bet too much on it.” Lexa cringed at her choice of wording because Clarke definitely had to bet her life on it.. on her! Right, she was suppose to rescue this intolerable person. Well-meaning but intolerable. She must seem more than just insufferable to Clarke. Criminally insane was the right label. So maybe Lexa was getting the better end of this deal.

* * *

  
The first sign of the storm was the bustling of wind. It became dark far earlier than it should have.. almost comically so. The next thing she knew fat droplets of rain began falling on them and they were rushed to their tents. She stayed there for a while, hearing the rebels yell back and forth throughout the camp. If only she understood a word they said or why they moved her here.

Sometime during the storm she succumbed to a fitful sleep. It was cold and the tent shook violently. If the storm was any worse than it already was then the tent would collapse in an instant. Clarke huddled on the hard mattress and wrapped her arms around herself. Everything was quiet now and there were no lights flickering through the tent. The storm had escalated during the night because she wasn’t shivering as profusely when she first fell asleep.

Her heart began beating faster when she thought she saw a shadow cast by the moonlight outside her tent. She was hanging between unconsciousness and the nagging cold pain in her bones that kept her awake. The figure began getting closer and now there was no doubt someone was standing right outside the thin piece of fabric. She couldn’t stop shaking. People shook in their sleep didn’t they? The figure crept in and Clarke kept her lids tightly shut. The person took a shallow breath and she could hear water dripping on the floor no doubt from their soaked garments. Maybe it was a hallucination induced by her poor condition. Why was someone visiting her in the middle of the night? She felt something touch her and she flinched.

“It’s okay, Clarke.” Her voice had took on a different octave. _Lexa?_

Lexa began to wrap a dry blanket around her shoulders. Then she crept back outside the tent without uttering another word. Clarke’s heart was still beating fast. She held the blanket tightly around herself and let the sound of rain lull her back to her slumber.  
 

* * *

  
When she woke up again, Clarke wasn’t sure if what happened the night before was real or a figment of her imagination. But the evidence was there- a wool blanket. Then she began doubting the comforting way Lexa told her it was fine and the gentleness in her touch. That must’ve been the dream because when she left the tent and saw the aftermath of the storm.. Lexa had a scowl on her face and was barking out orders. Was this woman who killed and kidnapped people capable of small gestures of comfort? No, Clarke resigned. They couldn’t let her freeze to death. They needed her.

Clarke began taking in the scene around her. Lexa looked particularly fit in the camo jacket she wore with the rifle slung across her shoulders. It also didn’t help that the rebels were scrambling to get things done at her command. Lexa looked good in power.. even sexy. Clarke gasped. She was not going to be another one of those pathetic stockholm syndrome cases you heard about in the news. These people are terrorists, Clarke admonished herself. Yet she found herself staring. It was a losing battle admitting Lexa didn't have some.. aesthetically pleasing features. But it didn't matter.

She saw people-prisoners milling around and that same rotten food was being served. _I have to get out of here._ Clarke surrendered to the pungent smell of it and headed towards the serving line. She didn’t want her to die from not being able to stomach expired beans. These barbarians obviously had no qualms about leaving her without food for several days. She looked around for Murphy but couldn’t spot him.. everyone else seemed to be keeping to themselves. This place appeared to have the same structure as the last. Well, they aren't architects after all. She sat on the bench and forced a forkful of the substance in her mouth. She suddenly developed a keen interest in the fork she was eating with. It had jagged ends but with enough force it could cause serious damage. She ate the remainder of the beans and tucked the fork in the waist band of her jeans.

Lexa witnessed Clarke’s act from afar. She couldn’t believe how foolish the woman was to risk getting caught. She looked around to make sure no one else saw it. She almost didn’t notice it herself left for the subtle movement of her arm. She marched her way to Clarke angrily contemplating what to do. Clarke shifted uncomfortably at seeing the brunette approach her.

"Clarke."

"How may I help you, commander?"

If Lexa wasn't suspicious before then she definitely was now at Clarke's method of regard. She was guilty but she couldn't make a scene and get Clarke into trouble.

"I was wondering if you would be interested in joining the rest to wash up in the river. You must feel filthy."

Now Clarke was suspicious. A chance to clean up and for what? She wasn't entirely comfortable with not knowing what Lexa wanted but she agreed anyway.

"Alright, lead the way."

They began making their way to the river. Once out of sight, Lexa pulled the blonde behind a treeline. Clarke's heart skipped a beat at the suddenness of it.

“If you wanted a way to get me alone you could’ve just asked. No need for theatrics.” Clarke began mouthing off suggestively.

“Hand it over.” Lexa’s tight-clipped voice gave away just how pissed she was. Clarke could detect small twitches in the muscles of her jaw.

“Hand what over?”

“The utensil.” Lexa was seething with rage. Clarke was definitely acting the part. Uncontrollable. Conceited. Brave. Stupid.

Clarke blanched. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I mean it, Clarke." The K clicked impatiently and she knew Lexa wasn't one for teasing. Clarke saw her advancing on her and tried to push her away but Lexa’s reflexes were faster. In one swift movement, she pinned the blonde’s arms above her head and began frisking her. Clarke’s instinct to push her away dissolved under her touch. Lexa patted her torso and back then smoothed her hands over the pockets of her jeans, angry that the daughter of a supposedly respectable senator would make such a dumb call. She began sliding her hands under her waist band and Clarke groaned at the contact.

“And what is this?” Lexa said, holding the item in her hand.

“Looks like a fork to me.” Lexa was trying to ignore the way Clarke was looking at her. She refused to let it affect her. “Don’t stop now. There’s still more to find.”

Lexa was adamant at getting this right. She wouldn't let Clarke distract her and if the way she was looking at her was any indication.. Clarke definitely enjoyed aggravating her.

Still pinned against the tree, Lexa moved her hand below to pat her thighs, hands brushing against her center briefly. Once she was satisfied to find nothing, Lexa let go of her wrists and sunk to knee level to check Clarke's boots. There she found a rock with a blunt angle confined in the leather strap.. with the right amount of sharpening it could be used as a deadly weapon.

Lexa stood back up. "Anything else?" Both their breaths were labored- not from any physical activity but for a whole other reason.

"That's it." Clarke felt like she was given the truth serum. She didn't even have to disclose the fact that she had another weapon hidden.

"Do you have a death wish?"

"I'd say trying to protect myself from you lunatics should imply that I want to get out of here alive."

"You won't get out of here if you think a fork is gonna' protect you."

Clarke hung her head in shame. Lexa's words made sense and she felt thoroughly rebuked.

"Why are you helping me?"

She wasn't expecting Clarke to direct that question at her.. perhaps she should have been less transparent in her actions.

"Let's just say.. I have no use for you dead." Clarke's eyes flashed in loathing and Lexa could see the blonde imagining all the horrible things she wanted to do to her. Maybe lack of transparency wasn't a bad idea. She needed Clarke to trust her when the time came.

"Right." Her laugh could have been mistaken for a sob. "The money in return for my freedom."

Lexa stayed quiet. She wanted nothing more than to tell Clarke she was on her side. But she couldn't. She couldn't risk Clarke acting differently towards her. She couldn't risk anymore of her impulsive behavior. She couldn't risk the guerrillas suspecting there was a traitor among them and torturing the hostages for information. So she kept her mouth shut.

* * *

  
Clarke couldn't explain it but she thought that Lexa was genuinely helping her. Maybe she was broken and the only hope she could find was misplaced in the enemy. From what Clarke's seen of the enemy, Lexa was far less of a threat than the others. Maybe she could use that to her advantage.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning* heavy mentions of drug use

Clarke was past the initial shock of getting kidnapped and taken hostage. She learned that good behavior gave you a pass around here. Following orders or simply doing as you were told earned you a night of sleep without being unnecessarily cuffed to the post. She couldn't just walk out of her tent and flee anyway. There were too many guards covering the night shift. They hadn't killed her because they wanted money but she didn't doubt they'd shoot her on sight if she tried to make a run for it. Even if she escaped, she didn't know a damn thing about navigating these woods. She'd run for miles on end without any possible sign of civilization. The ransom in exchange for her life was taking too much time and she couldn't depend on it to save her. She was going to get out of here on her own accord.

Clarke could play their game, she could pretend like she wasn't forced to be here and wash their clothes, hang them to dry, or follow other menial tasks. She sutured some of their wounds, she was ethically bound as a doctor to save a life no matter whose it was. None of their injuries were that threatening of a nature.. so it wasn't her code of conduct that required her to do it rather the threat to her life that forced her. They earned her little things like bathing in the river or staying outside until curfew hit. She spent her time observing them and they were the most vile form of humanity. They'd fire their guns randomly into the air, have competitions involving urination, and shoot drugs up their system. Boredom no doubt drove them to these obscenities.

She saw Lexa passing by across the camp, never staying too long in one place. She looked busy, like she had responsibilities to uphold in this hellhole. A rebel called and motioned for her to join them. Lexa walked towards the group of rebels gathered around a stash of what appeared to be all sorts of drugs.. heroin, meth, pills and the like..

Clarke cringed. She'd witnessed enough overdoses to shun her of entertaining the thought of trying drugs for several lifetimes. She hated the idea of Lexa using. She didn't want to think of her under the influence. She had to admit she lost some respect she might have scrapped up in the past few days. Lexa was calm, collected, maybe too deep into her own world to care much about much of anything around her. There was a distance between her and the other rebels.. even with the prisoners. There were several instances though when she got the rebels to stop bullying one of the hostages. Her method was a bit unsavory but it did distract them from the poor man.. other times she did nothing. Clarke was beginning to see a pattern forming. No matter how tough or nonchalant she tried to appear about the whole thing.. Lexa definitely did not relish in the though of kicking a man when he was already down. The capacity to control the people around you bred the most degenerate of outcomes. And these guerrilla soldiers exhibited the most potent of results. If they were vice-ridden in their power then it was easy to view Lexa in a less harsh light. It was the only way Clarke could attest to the growing and unwelcome empathy she felt towards her. But Clarke wasn't blind to her current predicament and the emotions roused as a result of it. It was natural for someone's mind to protect itself from an overwhelming experience, it was okay to cling to some form of hope when she knew it was all a fantasy she'd created. So she'd cling on to the idea of Lexa if only to keep herself sane.

* * *

Lexa took in the scene before her. If you didn't do narcotics in this place then you might as well be wearing a neon sign above your head that said you were a spy. God forbid they thought she was hanging on to any ethical constraints. So Lexa didn't hesitate when she snatched a bag of cocaine and poured the crystaline powder onto a flat table. She made a show of tasting it off her finger first before making a line and snorting. She then grabbed a few bottles of pills off the table and left them to their stash of toys. She went back to her quarters and tried to relax before the unwelcome high hit her. She tried to avoid the drugs, they made her moody and unfocused. She built up tolerance to them and that's what frightened her the most. A small amount did nothing but leave her with a mild craving for more. She had it under wraps, going for as long as she could without using until an unavoidable situation presented itself. Her training taught her coping mechanisms to abide by and she followed through them. For the most part. But the behavior drugs induced in this place was akin to the norm. So she kept her head low to avoid an easily-provoked quarrel with anyone.

Today was not going to be that day. She heard uncharacteristic yelling outside. From the rebels, hostages, she couldn't tell who. She sighed and got up to check if it merited any of her attention. She saw a guerrilla soldier fighting with a hostage.

"What's going on here?"

" _Heda._ She hit me." The rebel pointed to his bleeding nose then back at his abuser. Oh god, they were like children.

"He assaulted me first!" The petite woman said. Otacon? Oracle? Octavia!

" _Delano._ What did I tell you about sparing us from your petty tantrums?" Lexa took a handkerchief from her pocket and threw it in his face. "Wipe your nose and keep it quiet." She was about to flee the scene entirely when a certain blonde stood in her way.

"Clarke." Lexa said, trying to hide the surprise evident in her voice. She had kept an eye on Clarke from afar, pleased to see she was on good behavior as of recently. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Can we talk in private?"

"No." she said and began walking past her.

Clarke followed Lexa to her tent anyways.

"You can't be in here.." Lexa panicked at the thought of someone seeing them and what they might think. "So leave before I-"

Clarke held her hand up. "Stop trying to be someone you're not."

_Is my cover blown?_

"Because you know what? I'm tired of your empty threats."

Well, she had blatantly failed at going through with them so she couldn't deny that. "I don't have time for games. What do you want?"

"I need to know what's taking so long. I know you want the money just as much as I want to leave. So why am I still here?!"

She sighed. "These things.. they take time."

"It takes approximately three business days for a bank transfer. Five at most. So, what's taking so long?"

"Clarke," Lexa said cautiously. "You'll leave as soon as they hand the money over- in cash...in person. There is no bank transfer." She hoped telling her this piece of information wouldn't backfire.

"And.. how long does that usually take?" she asked, evidence of distress etched on her face.

"Can't say for sure. The less expectations you have- the better."

Clarke seemed to be going through some sort of epiphany. One second her face was all scrunched up and her brows were furrowed..and the next her eyes were calm and determined.

"Get me out of here and I'll give you the money instead.. all of it."

"I'm sorry. I'm not interested in money."

"Oh...oh. I get it."

She sauntered her way to Lexa and stopped when they were in very close proximity to one another. "I know what you want." Clarke's voice was sultry sweet and Lexa marveled at the change. She brought her hand to rest on Lexa's abdomen. "I can give that to you too." She began toying with the hem of the shirt.

"No- Clarke. That's- not what I meant." Lexa held her wrist before it made any further movements but she couldn't help but feel a spark of arousal. Then she felt disappointment bubbling up and was saddened by the thought that Clarke was desperate enough that she'd degrade herself in the process.

"Really? Then why are you out of breath? I can tell you're interested." Their lips were close enough that they were breathing in the same air.

"I'm not."

"You're lying."

"I have no reason to lie. I do whatever I want and I _get_ whatever I want."

Clarke moved back.. wrenching her wrist from Lexa's grip.

"Fine. If you won't make a deal with me then I'm sure I can find someone who'd be more than willing to do so." She turned to leave but Lexa swiftly tugged her back around to face her.

"Listen to me very carefully. No one here is going to strike some sort of deluded deal with you. As soon as word spreads that you're trying to turn one of us against them.. they'll dispose of you. They have other hostages and a lot of other ways to get money. Do you understand?"

"So I take it you're not gonna' tell on me? Why? Why are you even here?" Clarke shoved her away putting some distance between them. "You don't even belong in this place." She said, gesturing to the tent around them.

"You don't know the first thing about me." Lexa retorted.

"You might be tricking everyone else but I can see right through you. You hate being here. You don't enjoy torturing the prisoners or .. or killing people.." She said that last part nervously.. Now very unsure of herself and the convictions she had about the woman standing in front of her.

Lexa needed to put an end to this before it got out of hand. She walked towards Clarke effectively backing her into a corner in the process. "Are you certain about that? You seem very confident in your assessment. Do you want to know how many innocent people I've hurt? What I've done to them.. Will that help form your opinion of me? Or how many I've enjoyed-"

"Stop. I get it." Clarke didn't want to hear any of it. She wound her lids tightly shut, trying to block the image of Lexa doing things she didn't want to believe were true. She'd heard the rumors but she couldn't put her face on them.

"I don't think you do. It's evident you don't perceive me being as harsh as the others but what I don't get is why.. Maybe it's your own way of coping. Do you want to know how I earned the title of commander?"

Clarke shook her head. The image she'd formed of Lexa was crashing down fast. She though.. maybe despite everything.. she was still one of the good guys. _G_ _od._ She was officially losing it. "I don't want to know and I don't care to." She brushed past her and walked through the flap of the tent feeling tears threatening to fall. Talking or trying to reason with one of them was the worst idea she'd possibly had. These people don't have a hint of rational and she didn't know what possessed her to make such a rash move. In a span of a minute, Lexa appeared to be a different person.. advocating her own guilt and warning Clarke away from her.. effectively cautioning her about everyone else too. She was complex and confused Clarke to no end.

* * *

  
Maybe the senator's daughter wasn't taking this seriously enough. She was glad Clarke had gone to her first and hoped she delivered the message properly this time but she had a feeling she hadn't seen the end of her impetuous behavior. She had to admit she formed a strange..liking to the stubborn woman. It felt like Clarke was going through a list of all the things to get wrong in a hostage situation. She tried to escape in a rather poor attempt on her first day. Cursed everyone in the nearby vicinity who held a gun and had a short temper. Elbowed and spit on _her_ in a fit of misguided rage. Refused to appear afraid and held an air of arrogance thereby provoking the rebels further. Hid sharp objects and risked getting caught. Tried to appeal to Lexa's conscience then offered her money and sex in return for her freedom. Lexa shook her head in disbelief. That was certainly a contradiction. It was a list you could not beat. So Lexa would say she was looking forward to whatever cards she had left to play. The other hostages could get two- maybe three of those done in their time here. Some made it out with their lives.. others weren't granted the same fate, she thought grimly. She hoped Clarke wouldn't push her towards a dangerous situation which required her to blow her cover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling a bit apprehensive about this chapter but this is where I decided to go with it. How long do you guys think before Clarke discovers the truth about Lexa? Also feel free to suggest stuff.. I'm willing to experiment with the ideas/scenarios.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke let herself drift off again after an unpleasant nightmare. She imagined herself soaking up in a hot bath with her lush soaps and a glass of wine hanging from the palm of her hand. She had taken those pleasures for granted. It was the simple things she missed the most. Waking up and making herself a hot steaming cup of coffee was the best thing she could think of right now.. or the smell of freshly baked bread or how snug she'd feel after wearing her pajamas and curling up on the couch after a long day. It felt like a lifetime away.. contrasting vividly with the reality of her current situation. How could people chose to live this way? Regardless of moral or ethical context.. how could they wake up and decide this was better than lying in bed all day long? Now her thoughts were treading dangerous waters. She could definitely stay here if no one asked about her. She was losing her appetite for food as it was and her jeans hung looser around her waist.

Clarke fell in and out of sleep several times. A voice several hours later woke her up from her fitful slumber.

“Get up.”  It was another rebel. He had one of those voices that you found irritating for no particular reason. Especially when it was the kind of voice that jarred you up instantaneously from your stream of thoughts.. demanding attention and unwarranted in its volume.

She groaned and just as she was about to move the man yanked her to her feet. She was unsteady on her limbs and she felt nauseous at waking up so prematurely. He didn't seem to care and tied her wrists with a bruising rope before dragging her outside. Clarke closed her eyes against the harsh light of the sun. She didn't know what she did to warrant such a behavior from the rebel.. or .. _Could she have?_ Did Lexa report her misconduct to the chief? Clarke had no reason to believe otherwise. She caught on to the way she attributed Lexa with a false lack of harshness. Lexa had done several things for her to warrant a cautious response.

Lexa had threatened Clarke several times even going so far as to shoot at her once. Lexa might not have gone through with her threats but it was terror none the less. Terrorism isn't just about the act of violence.. It was the suggestion of it.. the fear it creates that causes people to submit to their to their captor or abuser, Clarke reaffirmed to her confused-addled mind. This was terror regardless of any physical infliction.. Which mind you there was not a shortage of around here. She didn't know Lexa and to think the brunette wasn't fed up with her was an irrational idea. Clarke dreaded every step she took towards wherever the rebel was leading her. She had managed to make an enemy out of the only person who was relatively decent towards her. Her eyes found Lexa's and they shared a heated and uncomfortable gaze. It seemed like she was heading towards her. When Clarke stood in front of her, Lexa clasped her hands behind her back and straightened her posture.

"The exchange is happening today. Get in the vehicle, Clarke."

There was a misplaced sense of morbidity in her tone. Almost as if this wasn't a good thing.. but Clarke didn't care and she almost squealed with excitement. She was only happy to oblige, getting up on the four wheel drive in rushed anticipation. This was it. She was finally getting out of here and putting this whole ordeal behind and moving on with her life. Lexa jumped in beside her. She looked tense, brow creased and eyes darting around the camp. It wasn't the calm and collected woman Clarke was use to dealing with. When the chief came into view, he and Lexa shared a few words she couldn't understand. Lexa clipped voice gave away further signs of distress and Clarke couldn't help but feel slightly unnerved herself. The chief jumped on the vehicle in front of them and they were underway.  
  


* * *

   
The scenery provided a momentary distraction but the silence was heavy and the ride was long. Clarke turned to look at Lexa; her jaw was clenched in what she could only imagine to be an uncomfortable position. Her expression was solemn and distant. Clarke wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words. Lexa left an impression on Clarke, one that she was not easily going to forgo. Clarke didn't have much contact with any of the rebels except for the mysterious brunette and she knew their interactions were going to be most memorable. She was no doubt going to become a topic of discussion during therapy. Clarke had a few words she needed to get out of her chest. Adjusting back to a state of normalcy was going to be hard.

Clarke missed her mother more than she thought she possibly could and that was saying a lot. She missed the empty apartment she came back to every night after a long shift. Her bed.. _god._ Maybe she'd treat herself to one of those super comfy mattresses and get a cat. Take a break from work while she was at it. A vacation might have been in order but she didn't think she would be able to travel to an unfamiliar location for a while.

After what seemed like ages, the vehicle finally came to a halt. Lexa got out and came to Clarke's side to guide her out of the vehicle.They appeared to be making the rest of their journey by foot.

Clarke saw the chief take out a nikita launcher from the trunk and her mind wandered to worst case scenarios. She looked back and forth between Lexa and the chief.. An almost apologetic look on Lexa's face and a malicious and determined one on the man she had come to know as Pike. She was about to ask what the missile  was for but the brunette tugged her forward harshly and gave her a look as if to tell her to keep her mouth shut. For once, Clarke didn't protest and moved along with the rest of the guerrilla soldiers. This was so wrong. They were supposedly taking her to area of exchange.. weren't they?! That's what they lead her to believe anyway. Why would a missile launcher be necessary? Maybe it was there to ward off preemptive attacks but the look Lexa gave her sent chills down her spine. They had a dangerous weapon and it was there for a very bad reason. Clarke tried to take comfort in the thought that as long as she was getting out of here then none of it mattered. These trigger-happy bastards could stick to their weapons for all she cared. 

They appeared to be walking quiet the distance. Lexa's hand on her arm was light but firm and their pace was considerably moderate. For that, Clarke was glad. Birds were chirping around them and there was a faint rustling of trees. If Clarke closed her eyes, she could imagine herself to be anywhere else. When they finally made their way to the clearing, a few rebels stayed behind including the chief. Clarke, Lexa and a few others moved forward into the vast plain field and stopped in the middle of clearing.

"Now what?" Clarke huffed.

"Now we wait." Lexa said.

"For what?"

"Chopper."

"So this is it? I'm finally getting out of here.."

Lexa gave her a sideways glance but other than that she remained quiet.

"No last words of righteousness? I know you're going to miss me.. who else is gonna' get on your nerves?"

Lexa let a subtle smirk make its way to her lips but when remembered what was about to happen.. it quickly dropped. Clarke was in for a huge disappointment. The negotiations went poorly. Lexa's private espionage contractors 'Trikru' were hired by the senator to deal with all aspects of the exchange.. including the sum of the ransom. Money wasn't the problem, Azgeda would get greedy if too much was agreed upon in a short period of time. Trikru was confident that nothing could happen to Clarke since Lexa was there so they limited the cash sum to a reasonable number in the hopes of steering Azgeda into a rushed agreement.

The chief had made threats concerning Clarke's life but Trikru never wavered in their offer. Two million dollars was not going to cut it for him. He knew the senator's net worth and it didn't even scratch the surface of what he initially demanded. So he humored them after endless negotiations and told them he agreed and set a time and date to commence the exchange. Pike was stubborn and greedy. He wanted more cash and he wanted to send a message to show just how serious he was. Lexa had only mistakenly learned to what extent he was willing to go to make a point. And it was only a matter of luck that she was able to send a message to Anya before it was too late.

Pike was not going to settle on two million. He was going to blow the helicopter off the sky and then demand multiples of the agreed upon sum. So when Lexa saw a helicopter approaching, she instantly knew it was a high grade remotely controlled chopper. There was no money and most importantly, there was no one inside but a few dummy bodies.

Clarke apparently had noticed the chopper too and her expression was one of pure happiness. Lexa instantly felt bad. This was going to be a huge blow to her morale. Once the helicopter got close enough to be a target, Pike appeared from the bushes and fired the missile. Clarke flinched as soon she heard it. In only a few seconds, the missile connected with the chopper and exploded out of the sky. Clarke choked on a sob. She and Lexa stared at the dissent of the craft and Pike let out a bark of laughter behind them.

"That'll teach 'em."

If Lexa didn't know what Pike was planning and hadn't she warned Trikru of his intents.. she didn't know how she would've reacted in this situation. He could have killed several of her people.. good people who had families back home.

She glanced at the woman beside her.

Clarke was shell-shocked and Lexa found herself uncharacteristically wanting to offer comfort.

"Why?" Clarke said harshly, blinking back tears. She turned to look at Pike. "Why even bring me here to witness that?"

"I needed to make sure they would show up." He pointed to the sky. "They're watching, you know."

"I don't understand." Her lip quivered as she felt tears obscuring her vision. It still didn't explain why he shot them out of the sky.

"They took my threats and demands too lightly.. call it collateral damage."  
  


* * *

   
Lexa feared Clarke would do something to harm herself. She kept a careful eye on her on the way back to the camp. She expected some resistant.. or some sort of reaction.. but the blonde was completely zoned out. When they arrived on camp Clarke headed straight to her makeshift.  
  


* * *

 

  
Clarke hadn't reappeared out of her tent yesterday and Lexa was starting to get worried. She decided to check in on her. She cleared her throat before entering her tent, if only to her presence somewhat known. She found Clarke's back to her, lying on her side.

"Clarke?"

..

"Here to gloat, commander?" Her voice was raspy, Lexa noted.

She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. She didn't know what she was here for but it was certainly not to gloat. On the contrary, she wanted to see if Clarke was okay.

"Just leave me alone. Please." She added.

"You haven't eaten yesterday and going without food or water today isn't gonna do you any good."

"Oh is that it.. you're afraid I'd starve myself to death and your little risk measurement plan would blow up in your face?!"

"Clarke." Lexa said in a warning tone.

"Gonna' threaten me again? Go ahead, I'm way past caring."

"For someone who was giving me hell not only a few days ago and priding herself on being defiant.. this is an interesting development." Lexa hoped her words would jolt Clarke out of whatever dark place she'd dug herself into. It wasn't like she could sweet talk her into eating.

"Yesterday you told me I was going home. Why did you lie?"

"I told you what I believed to be true."

"I saw the way you were acting. You knew it was going to happen." _Shit._

"I take no pleasure in giving false hopes, Clarke." Deflecting from her statement was all she could do.

"Right, because your honorable cause has room left for that."

Lexa walked around to stand in front of the blonde- boots facing her.

"I have orders so get up before I drag you out myself." No one told her to fetch Clarke to eat but it was the best excuse she could give right now. Falling into this role is what Lexa knew best. It was familiar and it worked for everyone involved.

Clarke was too tired to protest anymore. Lexa might not have physically hurt her but she didn't think the brunette wouldn't start now. She got up and exited the tent with Lexa following closely behind.

A general saw Lexa leaving the tent with Clarke.

"What business do you have with the prisoner?" He asked casually. His question was not imposing or demanding but Lexa felt panic rise nonetheless.

"Keeping her in line is all."

Almost to prove her point she directed a remark towards Clarke. "I knew you'd eventually run out of that feisty American privilege you were carrying around with you."

_Privilege?_

Clarke turned to face the brunette. "How can you talk to me about privilege when you entitle yourself to other people's hard earned money?!"

Several people could hear them in their close vicinity so Lexa had to remain defensive for both their sake.

She snickered. "I work very hard for my money."

"Oh right. I suppose kidnapping and killing would be considered hard working where you come from. God forbid you make an honest living for yourself."

"Tell me something, Clarke. Do your year-round trips to 5 star resorts leave you feeling guilty enough that you'd partake in some charity work?"

Clarke paled. How did she know about that? "My work and these people are important to me. Don't presume to know anything about me."

"I don't have to.. I know your type. You might think you've escaped your mother's influence and the power that came with being the daughter of an important politician.. but it's the reason you're here right now."

"I'm more than my mother's daughter. I've made a life outside of that influence." Clarke couldn't believe she was being scrutinized for her ethics and by a criminal no less.

"How much of it was thanks to that influence?"

Silence.  
  
"That's what I thought." Lexa said at Clarke's lack of reply.

"So because you were offered less opportunities than I was.. you were lead to a life of crime..?"

Sure, a lot of the rebels here were born into famine and poverty. But what led her to become a private espionage hire was a culmination of a lot of things. For a first, she was an orphan. There was no one who cared about her and it was easier to do this sort of work. Lexa felt that this conversation was becoming too personal and less oriented for the benefit of the rebels who heard them.

"What would a person living in their own prestigious bubble know about it?"

"My prestigious bubble tells me you're a savage."

. . .

"We are what we are."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever!!

Clarke knew these people were criminals but she'd never witnessed them commit murder. Suddenly the cruelty she perceived them in increased tenfold. She never wanted anyone to die for her. She couldn't stop thinking of how many people were in that chopper or the loved ones that were going to suffer as a result of a senseless act of violence. Their lives were snatched away from them in a blink of an eye. As a doctor, Clarke was familiar with how vulnerable the human body was.. how easily life could slip in between her very skilled hands.. She was familiar with death but this was different. This was deliberate. It made her sick. She rotated around poor rural areas for several years now but she hadn't ever felt the real threat behind the protection of the UN conveys. Maybe Lexa was right.. she didn't know anything about this world.

No.

Lexa had no right to judge her. The know-it-all brunette had been an indifferent bystander in the face of it all. She could feel Lexa's gaze boring into her on the way back to camp. Then the woman had shown up and brazenly demanded she eat and accused her of being privileged. Did Lexa think she was some kind of Robin Hood?! They were not even stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Clarke was infuriated to no end.. It was better to be angry than to wallow up in self pity and despair. She needed to be mad and she needed a way out before anyone else got hurt because of her. Gone was her patience and instead she was left with a single minded goal.. escape.

She saw Murphy again, he was newly transferred to this camp. He looked frailer than she remembered. She re-accounted the events of her failed extraction to him and he had nodded solemnly.. The news being of no shock to him at all. Clarke refused to let herself believe that she hit a dead end. She wouldn't end up like Murphy who had lost all hope and was embracing his new reality.. or the girl Octavia who seemed to have hardened and grown to become one of the rebels. Pike proved to be unpredictable and there were no guarantees she'd make it out of here with her life intact.

She couldn't leave herself without a back up plan so Clarke observed their routines in the hopes of finding a misstep.. but there were none. The chief had recently left the camp and put someone else in charge but the security was as tight as ever. The only time they were unguarded was when Clarke went with the female guerrilla soldiers to the river. Lexa never went with them but she always seemed clean.. she appeared to value her privacy. The rebels were always distracted in the waters. They didn't pay much attention when they striped and went into the river. It seemed like the only opportunity to make a run for it.

She doubted she could overpower one of the rebels. What if her own escape was to cross the river? Surely they'd notice.. but she'd been behaving so well as of late that the rebels figured that they both didn't want to make things worst for each other. She'd have to wait a few days to find out.

 

* * *

 

Clarke, to her discomfort, had bumped into Lexa several times after their awkward argument a few days ago. The brunette was a prime example of a brainwashed terrorist because Clarke couldn't understand how she ended up here. Although they never actually spoke when they were around each other it didn't stop Clarke from sending dagger eyes her way. Lexa had just rolled her eyes and moved on. Clarke was like the calm before a storm. She'd been behaving uncharacteristically tempered around the other rebels especially considering the circumstances. The circumstances being that Pike had led her to believe she was free to go and proceeded to blow a helicopter out of the sky. She was waiting for the routine call to shower in the river. She couldn't wait to have a real bath.. it was only a matter of time and patience, she reminded herself.

 

* * *

 

 

_10:35 am. River - Location Unknown._

 

The river's current was slow. They never paid much attention after she striped. They didn't think she'd try anything when she was butt-naked. They thought wrong. Clarke dipped her clothes into the water when they weren't looking and sank chin-deep herself. This was it. She'd cross it and they wouldn't even notice until it was too late. Something.. anything had to be better than having your life at the mercy of these criminals. She would survive the jungle; she was a doctor so how hard could it be? She waited for the other rebels to relax before she tried to cross the gap. There were two women washing their clothes at the bank and they were distracted in chatting as it was. It was astonishing how poor the security was at the river. It was evident no one tried to escape this way before. No one wanted the privilege of bathing taken away from them, Clarke thought in disgust.

She held her clothes with her right hand, dived underneath the water and began crossing the short gap to the other side. Her legs kicked and her other arm swung. When she came out for a lungful of breath she found herself on the other side on the northwest of their position. Those swimming lessons weren't a waste of time after all. No one seemed to notice she was missing yet. She got off the water and fumbled with her wet clothes. She slipped them on and went into the tropical forest.

She jumped through twigs and shrubs but before she could reach the desired distance she heard the rebels shouting.. obviously distraught to where she might have gone. She didn't stop to look back as adrenaline rushed through her. Clarke never ran so fast in her life.

 

* * *

 

_10:55 am. Azgeda Camp 2 - Unknown Location._

 

Lexa didn't want a year of being an undercover agent to be lost in vain. She wouldn't let the blonde distract her from her mission. She had to harden her resolve and get back on track. If she played her cards right, she could be done and over with her mission in a few more months. Maybe go back to D.C... pretend to be a normal person- _"The prisoner has escaped!! The prisoner has escaped!"_

"What in the-" Lexa approached the panicked rebels. " _Which prisoner is gone? "_ She asked vehemently.

 _"The blonde American."_ One of them replied. _Fuck!_

 _"How did she escape? Why aren't you following her?"_ Lexa couldn't fake how mad she was. Her voice was well above level and the man that was left in charge of this camp came out of his tent in an apparently drunk stupor. The chief might not have left her in charge but she was the one who suffered the consequences.

 _"We don't know.. uhh. We were in the river and we didn't see her escape."_ The guerrilla woman said.

 _"Find her and kill her."_ The second in command slurred.

Lexa paled slightly.

 _"General, with all due respect.. it might upset the chief. Let me assemble a team and go and find her. I'll bring her back before you know it."_   Lexa said confidently.

The general seemed to mull it over in his inebriated state. _"Fine. This one's on you."_   _Wasn't it always?_

Lexa began questioning the rebels who had last seen Clarke. She concluded that the only way she could've gone was through the river. She gathered a small team with the intent of misleading them and finding Clarke herself. She didn't want one of these trigger happy goons to get anywhere near Clarke in this situation. Shooting a running figure was second nature to them. Lexa picked three warriors, none of them had any wits about themselves and were much less able to locate an escaped hostage.

 

* * *

 

_Middle of nowhere - Outskirts of Azgeda territory._

 

After an hour of following Clarke's route she began to split the rebels into different directions.

She knew how to track people. The ground was her greatest indicator. She began going over the ways she would bring Clarke back with minimum force involved. _Stop kidding yourself._ Clarke wasn't not going to cooperate with her. Now she was almost three hours into her search, the clues were relatively easy to find but Clarke seemed to have become more careful with the distance. She began to feel tired herself. She obviously underestimated the blonde but she couldn't go back to the camp without her now.. it would put her into major trouble with the chief. _Damn it._ She really doesn't need this right now. A sense of resentment began to form towards Clarke but it was quickly quelled.. Clarke doesn't know she's here to help her. The politician's daughter must be scared out of her mind right now.

She _had_ to find her. She was going to get out of here but it was going to be on the rebels' terms.. She was lucky enough as it was that they haven't alerted Clarke's escape to the other camps.

The more distance Lexa covered the less apparent the tracks became and at one point Lexa reached a clearing with no signs of the doctor.

"Clarke?!"

She began walking carefully.. listening for any sign that might point her to Clarke's direction. 

"I know you're here somewhere. Where do you think you're going? Do you know how far away we are from camp?"

Nothing.

"I won't hurt you. Show yourself.. you won't get punished for this.. I promise. Just-"

Thud. Lexa was suddenly very dizzy but she was still conscious. Then suddenly Clarke was on top of her and she was doing something with her hands. She quickly regained her clearance and flipped them around.

"Stop. I don't want to hurt you." Lexa held Clarke's arms against her torso. What the hell did Clarke just hit her with? Her motor functions felt a bit sluggish and she could feel blood trickling over her brow. A kick to her groin made her loosen her grip on Clarke enough for her to scramble from underneath Lexa. _What the-_ She hissed but stood up and faced Clarke's fear-stricken gaze. Lexa was done playing nice.

"You can't outrun me and you can't fight me. Come with me willing or I swear I'll drag you back kicking or screaming if I have to." Stay _calm. Stay calm. Stay-_

Clarke bolted. _Kicking and screaming it was._ She wasted no time catching up to her and tackled her to the ground. She avoided a fist towards her face and flipped Clarke on her stomach. She held her arms in a vice behind her back. "I can do this all day." Clarke was still struggling against her so she applied more pressure. Clarke stopped struggling but she didn't let go. "Please.. It hurts." Lexa loosened her hold slightly. "We're gonna' stay here and talk it out. Deal?" Clarke groaned. It was evident that Clarke had some self-defense training and it blindsided her for a minute. Why did she keep assuming things about this woman?

"Do you know how far away you are from civilization? I didn't think you were stupid at first but now? I don't doubt it." 

"Fuck you." Lexa twisted her arm higher. "How about what would happen if one of us were to catch you?"

"I thought you said you weren't gonna hurt me."

"I changed my mind."

"Okay..so get it over with."

..

"Go ahead.. kill me."

Lexa gulped. She wasn't going to kill her.. god.

"Don't be dramatic. I'm taking you back." She pulled Clarke up with her hold on her arm still held in a vice.

She tied her wrists with a plastic zip tie.

"I hope you're happy. It's a long way back."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual feedback is appreciated. If you have any ideas let me know!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope faster updates make up for being short chapters! Enjoy..

 "Whatever he wants.. just give it to him!"

"Abby, we can't. There's no guarantee he'll comply afterwards." Marcus pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I know." She said. "He made that quiet clear when he shot a helicopter out of the sky!"

"You need to trust the agency. They've dealt with this sort of thing more times than I can count. There's a double agent in the mix. I'll give them a deadline and if they don't show results, I'll pull some strings and have Agent Lexa Woods extract Clarke herself. You'll get your daughter back Abby. I promise."

"God, I don't know what I would've done without you."

Marcus embraced her. "Me too. Me too."

 

* * *

 

_God damn it._

"What did you hit me with?!" Lexa dabbed her forehead with her sleeve. It was more blood than she was comfortable with.

"Wish I could say I was sorry but I'm not." Clarke retorted.

"Keep this up and you will be."

"I'm pretty sure it couldn't get worse than this."

"Just shut up and keep walking." Lexa could feel a headache beginning to form. 

Clarke couldn't believe her luck. Just when she'd flopped down against a tree she saw a figure following her route from a distance. She was tired and the water from the river mostly dried but it still clung to her clothes uncomfortably. She got Lexa good and she could tell the irritation was rolling off in waves from the rebel guiding her through the forest. She hit her with a small chunk of a tree bark she found lying around. She didn't feel good about it. Clarke was accustomed to healing people not hurting them and Lexa was the only.. mildly decent person she'd encountered in this place. She was more than mildly decent but Clarke tried not to dwell on it. _Remember, she's the enemy here._ Clarke was thinking of what to do next when Lexa regained responsiveness.She got lucky twice but evasiveness in an open space against a trained rebel would have been wishful thinking.

Lexa was guiding her back to the camp with her hand lightly guiding Clarke's wrists. Making a run for it now would have been futile but it would also make Lexa's job harder which was something Clarke wasn't opposed to. She mulled it over for a few seconds but decided she was too exhausted for it. 

"So how come you didn't use your gun?"

"Would you preferred if I had?" It was safety tucked in her gun holster beneath her jacket. Clarke had obviously not used one before or unholstering it wouldn't have been too difficult.

"What happens when we get back?"

Lexa didn't want to think about that. "Nothing good."

"Lying to me wouldn't hurt right now. Or do you lie when it only suits your conscience?"

_Here we go._

"You don't have to make this trip more unbearable than it already is, Clarke."

"That's Dr. Griffin to you." 

 _Now she's Dr. Griffin?_   "Well Dr. Griffin, I have a massive headache so I'd appreciate some peace and quiet on our way back."

 _Shit._ Clarke stopped in her tracks. "Let me take a look at your head."

"No thanks." Lexa tugged at her restrains and Clarke obliged by continuing to walk forward.

"Do you feel nauseous?" Clarke didn't think she hit her that hard. She couldn't help but feel guilty regardless of the circumstances. 

"No. Dr. Griffin." Lexa said sarcastically. "Headaches.. are a common occurrence for me."

"But-"

"Just keep walking. There's nothing you can do now." Lexa supposed she could make this trip much more easier on the both of them by telling Clarke why she was really here. The idea became more and more appealing to her by every passing minute. She needed Clarke to trust her because as time went by she was alienating the blonde away from her even further. Lexa knew wanting Clarke to know her true motive was purely personal and having personal feelings was bad on the field. A civilian wasn't trained for these sort of things. One wrong move and Clarke's uncharacteristic behavior towards her could jeopardize a mission.

Lexa heard a branch crack and it certainly didn't come from either her or Clarke. She indicated for Clarke to stop and looked around the surrounding trees. They weren't alone. 

"What-"

"Wait. Listen."

"I don't hear anything."

"Clarke, on the count of three I'm gonna' need you to make a run for it and not look back."

"What? why?!"

Lexa didn't even get a chance to cut off Clarke's cuffs before they were surrounded by 5 or more rebels with guns pointed directly at them.

"Put it down, Azgeda." One of them said, spitting the name out like it was venom. Lexa recognized who they were. They were defective Azgeda rebels who had formed their own clan.. The Delphi. She did as she was told.. She put her weapon on the ground and raised her hands above her head. This wasn't gonna bode well for either her or Clarke.

 

* * *

 

"See what you've gotten us into?"

"You were the one who insisted on kidnapping me.. again!"

"Well consider this the third time you've been kidnapped."

"Now you know what it feels like."

"Keep it quiet you two!" The Delphi rebel behind them said. Clarke and Lexa were walking side by side to what seemed like their impeding death. Well Clarke would most likely be used as a bargaining chip in this case. Lexa tried to look at this situation in a positive light.. at least she reached Clarke in time to be taken hostage with her. Everything's gone downhill since this woman showed up. She needed a plan and fast.

"Clarke, you need to follow my lead on this."

"What do yo mean follow your lead?"

"I know this is hard to ask but you have to trust me."

"You've got to be kidding me right now."

"Our lives depend on it."

"I said keep it quiet!" A rebel shoved Lexa a few steps ahead making her unable to communicate with Clarke anymore. She glanced back at Clarke one more time hoping her message was well received. 

* * *

  
Clarke tried to think about what Lexa told her. She didn't know who these people were but they appeared to dislike Azgeda and they weren't cops. _Probably another rebel clan. Great._ Lexa's back was to her and they took her gun away so a Bond style escape was out of the question. So now she was suppose to put her trust in someone who kidnapped her? That had to categorize as a mental illness. When they reached the camp they were the center of attention. The facilities looked to be much of the same as the previous place. Nothing technologically advanced except for the weapons they were carrying. They made their way inside a large tent house where they were faced with the person who appeared to be in charge. She looked like she was the same age as Clarke and she had olive skin and dark brown hair. Lexa immediately knew who she was. _Ontari._

"Chief, it is an honor to make your acquaintance." Lexa said. That seemed to immediately peek Ontari's interest.

"Oh and why is that?"

"My name is Lexa and I've abandoned Azgeda to join the Delphi."

Ontari narrowed her eyes. "I've heard things about you." Lexa didn't feel one it comfortable with the way the other brunette was eyeing her.

"And what is this here?" She said, scrutinizing Clarke from head to toe.

"A gift." Lexa hesitantly chanced a glance at Clarke. "Her name's Clarke and her mother's a well know U.S senator who would pay a lot for her return."

Clarke gritted her teeth. _This was your plan? Really?!_

Ontari looked delighted. "No one's ever joined bearing gifts." Her response was too enthusiastic and Lexa felt her wariness grow.

"What happened to you head?"

Lexa nodded towards Clarke. "She's not a very cooperative hostage."

_I'm going along with your plan, aren't I?! How dare she!_

"Fuck you." Clarke spat. She didn't just say that for show.. she was really pissed off at the situation she was in. Denying Lexa's motives to this clan leader wouldn't do her any good. So she might as well go along with her star role as a kidnapped senator's daughter.

"Now now Clarke.. you should be grateful towards.. _Leksa._  Unlike Azgeda, we don't harbor prisoners for months on end. If a deal is made then we will honor it and set you free."

Ontari turned back to Lexa. "If the circumstances of your arrival here match with what you're telling me then you are welcome to join.. but if not then you will meet the end of my rifle."

Ontari motioned for the guards. "Take them to the holding cell."

 

* * *

  
"This was your grand plan?!" Clarke said as soon as the guards left them in the prison cell. It was equipped with bars and a lock.

"It bought us time didn't it?"

"No, it bought _you_ time. I'm right where I started.. I'm locked in a proper holding cell but this time I'm stuck with _you._ " Clarke's tone was very accusatory. Lexa tried to imagine how scared she must have been.

"I won't leave you here."

"That's suppose to make me feel better?"

"Fine, I'll leave without you."

"Wait- that's not what I meant."

"You'd rather go with me then?" Lexa said triumphantly.

"You're asking me who I'd rather be a prisoner of?" Clarke shook her head in disbelief. _What a madwoman!_

Lexa wasn't going leave Clarke in this place.. not a chance in hell. The brunette pretended to be disinterested nonetheless.

"Suit yourself. Ontari.. might not be a fan of keeping prisoners but she's very ill-tempered."

"Why is that?" Clarke asked.

"Why is what?"

"Why doesn't she keep prisoners? She has the facilities for it."

"It's rumored she was one as a child.. kept by the Ice Queen when her service wasn't required. Eventually, she engaged in a rebellion against the Queen."

"Is.. that how you became one of them? Forced into it as a child?"

Lexa looked at Clarke quizzically for a second. She cleared her throat. "No, I joined Azgeda of my own free will."

"That really puts my mind at ease."

 Lexa gave her a sideways glance then continued looking through the bars of the cell. Everyone was outside and there was no other prisoners. She could hear their voices; they weren't very far.

"What makes you ask me that?"

"I'm pretty sure we went over this before."

"Quiet- someone's coming."

A few seconds later a man walked in and stood in front of the cell with an eerily serious expression.

"I'm glad you joined our ranks.. commander. My name is Snyder."

Lexa gave a nod of her head. 

"I apologize for the hold up but it's protocol."

"I understand. Any idea how long before I'll be out of here?' She looked behind her to where Clarke was crouched against the brick wall.

"It won't be too long. Sorry to treat you like one of them." He gestured to Clarke. _One of them?!_

Lexa gave a low chuckle. "I think I can handle it."

"I don't doubt it. Once you get out.. drinks are on me."

"Counting on it."

With that Snyder walked out of the enclosed space leaving Clarke and Lexa alone again.

"What is one of them supposed to me?"

"The enemy.. an outsider.."

"What happens when they find out you've been lying to them?"

"I'm not waiting to find out.. you might want to turn around." Lexa said as she took her jacket off.

"What for-" 

Lexa turned her back to Clarke and undid the buttons on her shirt.

"Oh.. W-What are you doing?" Clarke's mouth suddenly went dry.

"The wire in my bra can get us out of here."

"Right." Clarke couldn't help but notice the intricate tattoos encompassing the brunette's back and was taken aback by their beauty. She forced her gaze away and formed a sudden interest in her own fingernails. A clank of metal brought her attention back and the door was open with Lexa shrugging her jacket back on.

"What's it gonna' be, Clarke? You coming or not?"

_I hope I don't regret this._

Clarke stood up and followed Lexa outside the cell door.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terribly sorry for the long wait. I don't want to rattle off a list of excuses but writing has become harder (creativity-wise) with the stress of my coursework. I'll try and do better.

Lexa took the first man down like he was nothing. There was no remorse or guilt in the process. She held him in a choke hold and took his pistol afterwards. It was pure instinct and if Clarke was being honest with herself.. she was scared.

"Was that necessary?" Clarke berated.

"I'd rather not find out."

"So you're solution is to just.. kill them?"

"Do you want to get out of here alive?!" Lexa hissed. "I'm doing what's necessary."

The appearance of another rebel took them both by surprise. There wasn't much distance between them so Lexa managed to tackle him to the ground before he even saw them. Clarke was rooted to the spot and watched the scene unfold in front of her. 

They tossed and tumbled for what felt like an eternity when it couldn't have been more than a minute. Lexa was beginning to show signs of struggle. The man was twice her size and her punches did little to slow him down. The next blow Lexa sustained forced her on the ground. He began reaching for the gun that was lost during the fight and Lexa saw no choice but to use her own weapon to end this. Without giving it much thought, she reached for her pistol shot him.

Clarke flinched.

An echo rang through the forest that was surely going to alert the Delphi to their whereabouts.

Lexa scrambled to her feet, hastily grabbed Clarke's hand and ran.

She guided Clarke through the forest, taking so many twists and turns to ensure their route wasn't as predictable. She could hear gun fire and yelling but it only served to make her run faster. They encountered another lone rebel patrolling the outskirts but Lexa decided to cut to the chase and shot him instead. She hoped the dense forest and the distance she was gaining would disguise the source of the sound but her hopes were plundered when a few minutes later into their run bullets started wheezing past them.

 _Fuck._ How did it all go so wrong? Out of all the possible ways she could have faced danger she didn't predict this. She was out of Azgeda's territory without any of her crew members. If she failed now it would have all been for nothing. Then there's Clarke.. If she got hurt..  _Damn it._ She couldn't let that happen. She's never miscalculated a situation so bad. She should've kept a better eye on Clarke. Instead, she treated her like a side-op. Lexa treated her like all the others but she failed to realize this one was different. Her usual tactics don't work on people like Clarke.

"They're gaining on us." Clarke said, panic reverberating through her voice.

"Don't look behind- just keep heading north."

* * *

 

They climbed a tree top as soon as signs of the enemy dissipated. Now they were on opposite sides of a tree bark, breaths labored from the strenuous activity.

"I never knew I could climb this high."

"Just don't look down."

"Too late." Clarke sighed.

Lexa tried to get a clear view of the surrounding area but the branches from other trees were obscuring her vision.

"How long are we gonna' stay up here?"

"For a while."

"You're as vague as ever it seems."

"I need to study their movements to get an accurate time span. Why? You have anywhere else you need to be?"

"Just home." _Me too._

Clarke cleared her throat. "Do you.. have any family?"

Lexa was a bit taken aback by the question but she answered truthfully. "I have people that are as close to a family as I'll get."

"Back at the camp?" Clarke asked. There was no judgement in her tone just plain curiosity.

"No. Somewhere far away from here."

"Do you ever wish you were far away from here?" 

Lexa sighed. "Yeah."

"Why don't you leave?" she asked.

"It's not that easy." 

Clarke wanted to look at the brunette's eyes. It was perhaps the first time Lexa was truly being sincere. She didn't want it to ever stop.

"I always got that impression from you."

"What impression?" Lexa asked quizzically.

"That you hated this place. I believe I told you before and your reply was something along the lines of me seeing things that weren't true."

"Perhaps there was truth in it after all."

 

* * *

 

Darkness was fast approaching and by then they wouldn't be able to climb back down. The enemy was still no where to be found which made Lexa feel all the more wary. They had to find a spot where they could at least rest their eyes for a bit. Lexa stayed close to Clarke on the way down. Since their adrenaline had wavered off, climbing back down was going to be more of a challenge. Clarke nonetheless proved to be more agile and quick on her feet than Lexa had originally assumed. She was not a totally helpless woman. 

"Stay close to me and try to make as little noise as possible."

Clarke could not help but take that to offence.

"I can be stealthy." she persisted.

The brunette ignored her.

Their pace was slow and their steps were careful. There were no signs of anyone whatsoever. Could they have given up on them?

Clarke protested thirty minutes into the slowest walk of her life.

"Could we maybe go faster?"

"We're almost there."

"I might not be an expert in navigating these woods but I'm pretty sure it's gonna' take us way more time to get back to Azgeda than that."

"Who said we were going back to Azgeda?" Just as soon as the words were out of her mouth she heard yelling and soon thereafter bullets began targeting them.

Lexa tried to point her gun in the direction of the rebels but it was too dark to make out their figures.

The shots were coming from northwest of their position so they ran opposite that direction. 

Lexa's mind began reeling. _They came out of no where.. There could be more on the trees or- fuck!_

She felt a searing pain in her leg and stumbled on the ground.

"Lexa!"

Clarke brought Lexa's arm around her shoulder and helped her on her feet. Lexa moved forward by sheer will. They were going much slower than she'd liked.

"At this point they're going to catch up to us." Lexa said, half wincing. "We have to hide."

"Where exactly do you propose we do that?"

"There. There's a steep slope."

Clarke nodded and eyed the steep surface cautiously. "Are you sure you wanna' head this way?"

Lexa didn't wait for Clarke and began making her descent.

"Damn it, wait for me." 

"Come on, they'll probably split up and follow us this way. We have to keep moving."

Clarke brought the brunette's arm around her shoulders to aid her. She wasn't sure why she was helping but one thing she knew was that she couldn't imagine leaving Lexa behind.

 

* * *

 

It was another twenty minutes of Lexa guiding the blonde where to go before she began to lean heavily on her.  
  
"We have to stop. You're losing a lot of blood."  
  
Lexa nodded feebly.

She sat against a tree and tried hard to focus on her surroundings. She furrowed her brows as she watched Clarke work.

"The bullet hit your calf muscles. No major arteries but it still looks bad." She said it more to herself than to Lexa.

She ripped a piece of fabric from the brunette's cargo pants and wrapped it around the wound. "I can't do much else without any supplies."

Lexa began to doze off but a sudden movement made her eyes snap back into focus.

The gun hanging loosely from the palm of her hand was snatched.

Lexa's alertness spiked but when she realized it was only Clarke she sagged back against the tree. She turned her head to the side and feigned disinterest.

"You need me, Clarke."

"You sure about that? Right now it looks like you need me a whole lot more than I need you."

"Wanna take your chances out there? Be my guest."

"I'd rather take my chances than go back to that hellhole."

"We're not going back. It's too far away."

"Where are _we_ going then?"

"There's a bunker not too far from here."

"Then what?"

"Take me there and I'll help you get out of this place."

"And why would you do that?"

"As a thank you for saving my life.. isn't that reason enough?"

Clarke mulled over her options. She wasn't going to leave Lexa to bleed out in the forest; it was more than just the oath she took as a doctor.

"Why should I trust you?"

"You're the one with the gun."

Clarke tucked the weapon away.

"Try anything funny and I won't hesitate to use it." Perhaps for the first time, Lexa didn't mind this exchange of power at all.

* * *

   
Clarke didn't have a choice but to follow Lexa's lead.. again. Lexa was lighter than she expected and she could tell the brunette was struggling to stay upright. Just having the gun tucked in her waistband made Clarke's hand shake. She didn't want to point it at Lexa. She hoped her show of determination would deter Lexa from trying anything but by the looks of it that wasn't a problem. The brunette was struggling to hold herself up. Clarke's heart fumbled at the sight of her like this.  
  
"Did you hear what I said?"

"..What?" Her breath was labored and perspiration coated her skin. Clarke was beginning to notice signs of a fever. She was glad they managed to evade the rebels. It was more than they could deal with at the moment.

"Who's this bunker for?"

"s... mine."

She tried to keep Lexa talking.

"Who else knows about it?"

"No one who'd hurt us."

Lexa wasn't entirely lucid at this point. She feared an infection may have already begun to take root.

"Stop. It's right here." Lexa removed her arm from around Clarke's shoulder and began uncovering the entrance. She brushed away the twigs and branches until a camouflaged capsule remained.

"Could you give me a hand?"

Clarke wordlessly helped Lexa pull the door up.

She motioned for the brunette to get in first.

Lexa struggled with getting her footing right and Clarke could only imagine the kind of pain she was in. She used one leg to climb down the ladder and landed with a groan.

Clarke was right behind her.

The place smelled like disinfectant and steel. 

Clarke could see folded beds on the side, gallons of what she could only imagine to be water and even a fridge.

She began rummaging through the place while Lexa leaned against the wall.

She found rations, weapons, and finally what she was looking for- medical supplies. She looked behind her and found Lexa's hooded eyes following her movements.

"Come on, let's get you on the bed."

Clarke got to work quickly; they had wasted enough time and the bullet was still in lodged her leg.

She hooked her arms beneath Lexa and helped her to the bed.

She poured the contents on the medical kit and began setting aside the necessities.

Once she ripped the cloth around Lexa's kneecap she groaned.

The wound was much worse than she expected a person awake would be able to withstand.

"You need a transfusion. Any chance we have the same blood type?"

"O positive.. in the fridge." That was the last thought Lexa had before she succumbed to darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild smut ahead.

Lexa couldn't stay conscious for more than a few minutes. Sometimes, Clarke would wake her up to have a sip of something or to change her bandages. Most of the time, Lexa was back in the forest evading the rebels. Her fever gave her vivid hallucinations and they were always much or less the same. They'd capture Clarke and kill her. They'd subject her to torture and eventually Azgeda would discover the true reason she was here. _Mission is a failure._

"Hey, shh. You're alright." Clarke wiped away the perspiration on her forehead. She knew Lexa was having nightmares if what she mumbling was anything to go by. She'd heard her say "please" and "no" on several occasions. It was strange seeing the otherwise stoic woman in such a vulnerable state. It was an intimate way of getting acquainted with her. It gave Clarke a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't entirely sure what it meant but she decided to ignore it for the time being and nurse Lexa back to health. The fever was beginning to subside albeit slowly. Lexa needed several blood transfusions. She hooked her up to antibiotics and pain killers. She was surprised at how thoroughly this place was packed and loaded. It had close to almost everything. Clarke had the time to search the place and the only thing she didn't have access to was a locked cabinet. It had a pass code similar to the one Lexa used when she opened this bunker.  The more she thought about it the more odd it seemed. How did Lexa know about this place? Was it an Azgeda safe house? It was the only thing that made sense to her. 

Lexa promised she was going to help her get out of here. The woman sprawled on the bed had lied to her several times. She was ruthless. She killed people right in front of her. Clarke kept checking off a list of reasons believing her was a bad idea. But then.. she found a few reasons it wasn't such a bad idea. As she suspected, Lexa wasn't very loyal to Azgeda. She had thoughts of leaving this place behind. She didn't even have a family here! There's also the fact that the brunette had never actually hurt her. She was rough- that was for sure. When she thought of propositioning Lexa in return for her freedom, her cheeks turned into a shade of red. _That was stupid._ Lexa never told anyone though and for that she was glad.

 So Clarke thought of a compromise. She had the upper hand now. With Lexa disadvantaged and without weapons she could probe her for more information. The tables have officially turned.

 

* * *

 

When Lexa came to she didn't know where she was. It took her a moment to recall the preceding events. She felt a dull ache in her leg and looked down to find herself in a white tank top and ripped trousers. _Clarke?_ She turned her head to find the sleeping blonde on the other side of the small bunker. The relief the sight of her brought was instantaneous. She imagined Clarke might have tried to escape. It seemed like she didn't view Lexa with as much animosity as she first predicted. Her first instinct was to get up. She needed to begin sorting things out; she wasn't used to so much inactivity. _How long has it been?_ Lexa got her uninjured leg on the floor slowly and was surprised she couldn't register any feeling. _Those damned pain medications._ The dull aching throb in her leg was beginning to intensify. She began reaching for her other leg for support but a clank of metal forced her wrist back to the bed.

_Alright, so maybe she really can't stand me._

The bed was light enough that she could drag it with her but it rendered her immobile in some way. So, Lexa just lied there pondering her options. It was a smart move by Clarke. If it were anyone else in her place who truly had the intention to hurt her then Lexa would be glad for it. But it wasn't anyone else in her place so she huffed and tried to make herself more comfortable. 

Clarke was lightly dozing off but the shuffling from the other side of the bed made her jolt up.

"You're awake." Clarke said.

"Uh huh." Her throat felt dry.

"How do you feel?"

"I've been better. How long have I been out?" She croaked.

"Just a day.. Your leg will be fine." Clarke tried to assure her. "Your still fighting off the infection."

"Thanks, I'm.. grateful for your help."

"No thanks needed. It's my job."

Lexa nodded absently.

She raised her shackled wrist. The reversal of their roles couldn't have been more evident than this moment.

"This is really not necessary." Lexa commented.

"There's no reason for you to be up so I'd say it is a necessary evil right now."

"Clarke- I have to pee."

_Oh._

The blonde appeared to think it over then she got up and grabbed the gun and keys from the table. She made sure Lexa noticed the former and tucked it in her waistband. She undid the locks and Lexa rubbed the numbness away. She tried to get up again, this time slower. It proved to be more difficult than she thought. Once she got into a sitting position her vision became blurry. The blood was rushing out of head and she tried to blink away the stars that were obscuring her vision. 

"Everything alright?" Clarke asked.

"Just peachy."

Lexa grabbed the IV fluid and dragged it with her to the bathroom. She put as little pressure as possible on her injured leg.

Once she finished taking care of her bladder she made it back to bed. Just as quickly as she'd laid down she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

The second time Lexa woke up, she felt much more clear-headed. It must have slept for another 24 hours. She got into a sitting position and realized she was free of restraints. Clarke was awake and she was staring at her.

"I guess someone's feeling a little less paranoid today."

"I think I've earned the right to be."

Clarke wasn't in a mildly moderate mood today, Lexa noted. It wasn't like you could be in a good mood after what she's had to endure.

Lexa tried to get up slowly. Her leg didn't feel as bad as she thought it would. She got into a standing position and tried to walk using the wall for support. It was.. fine. For now.

She began looking for a change of clothes. Clarke was studying her movements from the other side of the bunker.

"Relax, Clarke. I just need a shower." Lexa directed a smirk her way. "I won't hurt you."

Clarke cleared her throat. "I'm just taking my precautions." 

"Take all the precautions you need. I promised I'd help you escape. Did I not?"

"You did." She nodded. "But what's to keep you from betraying me?"

"It's not like you have another choice." Lexa cringed at her choice of wording.

Clarke marveled at how easily this woman could provoke her.

"I see your pain meds are starting to wear off."

"Yeah.. " Lexa chuckled to herself. Now was the perfect time to tell Clarke who she really was but the journey towards her safety wasn't over. She could cross paths with Azgeda along the way and have to forcibly drag Clarke back. She'd hate to have to do that. They've been gone for too long and Azgeda would cut their losses at this point. It was solely up to her now to take Clarke back home.

"Look, Clarke." Clarke perked up at the seriousness of her tone. "I know we got off at the wrong foot."

The blonde rolled her eyes. _No shit._

"-but there's no reason for us to remain so hostile towards one another."

Clarke narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"You saved my life.. like I trusted you would and I can recognize when one is owed a favor." She nodded to herself. That sounded about right. She looked back at Clarke to find an almost undecipherable expression. Suspicion? Respect?

"For your information, I'm still hanging on to the gun." Clarke remarked.

"I understand."

* * *

 

Clarke was growing confused at the development in their relationship. What were they to each other if no longer prisoner and captive? Acquaintances? _Friends?_ And now they were casually sharing a space with no obvious signs of distrust. Clarke could not explain this feeling but it was like she knew Lexa did not intend to cause her any harm. If they were in any other place under any other circumstances.. maybe they could've been friends. At seeing Lexa exit the shower Clarke thought that they maybe could've been more and instantaneously blushed at the thought. There was no denying Lexa was a sight to behold. Her cheeks were sharp and she had perfectly sculpted features.

She was drying her hair off with a grey towel and was paying Clarke no mind. The blonde tried to avert her gaze before she was caught staring. She let her mind wander elsewhere. Clarke had already made use of the facilities here and it felt good to have a shower over her head. She correlated the idea of a shower over your head with civilization.

"I need to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"How did you know to find this place?" Clarke stood up to face Lexa. She was feeling helpless and she needed some concrete answers.

"I- it's a secret base."

"For Azgeda?"

"No, just a select few know about it."

"Why do I get the sense that you're lying to me?"

Lexa furrowed her brows. "I'm not."

"Who are those select few?"

"I'm not inclined to tell you that."

Clarke nudged Lexa's shoulder with her finger. "Listen, I'm through being kept in the dark."

"It doesn't concern you. Just be glad it exists." She brushed away Clarke's finger. "I don't know what's gotten into you but I suggest you try and relax."

"I'll relax when I'm back home. I don't mean to take it out on you but you are partially responsible for me being here."

"Actually, I'm not."

"Excuse me?"

"The people I work with kidnapped you but I had nothing to do with it."

"You followed me after I escaped for the purpose of retrieving me. I'd say you're complicit in the act of kidnapping and harboring prisoners as much as they are.

"I was just following orders. It's not my fault you're here."

"God, you're brainwashed. So you never think for yourself?"

Lexa clenched her jaw. She found it hard to make a distinction between the Lexa out here and the agent beneath this disguise. She took Clarke's words to heart.

"Out in the field, you don't have time for that."

"Just when I was starting to think you were different.." Clarke shook her head in disbelief and turned away.

Lexa whirled her back around to face her. She needed to amend her words.

"I'am different." She insisted.

The hand on her arm was firm and Clarke was taken aback by the suddenness of their close proximity.

"I want to believe that.. I really do." She stared back at Lexa's pleading eyes. Her gaze shifted to her impossibly soft lips and she wondered how they would feel pressed against her. It was crazy but right now it didn't matter. She craved someone's touch and she's been transfixed on this woman since the day she met her. What's one more crazy thing to deal with?

And Clarke was suddenly against her, devouring her lips and tugging at her freshly worn shirt. She pushed Lexa until they hit the wall with an _"Oomph."_ \- Injury momentarily forgotten and a quick sorry was thrown her way before Clarke captured her lips once again.

It took a moment for Lexa to reciprocate. Confusion and lust clouded her mind but when she got her bearings she returned the kiss just as feverishly. It was a battle of control, one that Lexa was surrendering to. She let Clarke take the lead and wondered when she'd pull away and regret the entire thing. When the blonde began to move things further only then did Lexa stop her.

"We can't." She whispered, eyes still closed.

Clarke furrowed her brows. "Why?"

"I don't understand why you're doing this." Lexa said.

"You're telling me you don't feel the same way?"

The brunette paused. She didn't understand how Clarke could feel this way about her after everything she's done. It must be some sort of trick.. some sort of mind game.. But then she'd find Clarke's pupil-blown blue eyes staring back at her and she understood. She understood why because she felt it too- the connection they had or formed. She wasn't sure what preceded the other.

Her answer was to brush her lips against her softly. It was gentle, tentative and nothing like Clarke expected. It was a new dimension to Lexa she was discovering. For all the tiny discoveries she'd managed to make, Clarke relished in the knowledge of this the most. The knowledge that underneath the nonchalant demeanor and pretence of being tough.. she was just soft and how sensitive she was with every stroke of her tongue could attest to that.

Clarke wanted more. She didn't want to think of the hows and whys. She just needed this feeling to not stop and right now Lexa was a sweet and potent source of it. So she breathed her in and nipped at her jawline and Lexa had become undone because of it. The sounds she made only served to drive Clarke further into her frenzy. So they moved things to the bed and Clarke tried to be mindful of her leg. Soon enough they reached it and she fell ontop of the brunette. 

Lexa knew for all the time Clarke spent being powerless that she needed to be in control right now. So she let her and she didn't protest when she felt warmth rubbing against her thigh. She welcomed it. Clarke buried her head in the brunette's neck as her breath hitched with every sway of her hips and Lexa guided her encouragingly. It wasn't before long that Clarke came and mumbled obscenities against her skin. Lexa watched it all with awe and a sense of astonishment. Clarke was beautiful.

 

* * *

 

Clarke's body lay half on top of her and she was fast asleep. They were both still clothed and the warmth spreading across Lexa's center had become unbearable. She had to ignore it and make a call before Clarke awoke. She carefully untangled herself from the sleeping blonde and made her way to the locked cabinet. She entered the code and it opened to reveal the satellite phone hidden away. She called her handler and requested an extraction. Unfortunately there was some distance between the bunker and the landing zone so they'd have to make the rest of the way by foot. Once the request was made she got back into bed beside Clarke and tried to make herself as comfortable as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I decided to go with it. yup.

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts about this are welcome and greatly appreciated! 
> 
> If you liked don't forgot to leave kudos!
> 
> You can find me @ http://icherishpotatoes.tumblr.com


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